Been too long - time for an update!

   So... what's new in the house?
I brought home a bar about a month ago, decided to do it up for Ash, since he's always wanted a bar.

WHAT WE FOUND ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD

AFTER WE BROUGHT IT HOME AND FIXED IT UP A LITTLE



















So that kept my brother and I busy.
He is currently staying with us - I can tell you, it's pretty interesting having 3 adults a school kid and a toddler all in the one small 3 bedroom unit.
He is currently sharing a room with Master C.

Ash is FINALLY getting some driving lessons! At 33, he's finally doing it. I look forward to him getting his licence and getting a second car. Yay!

We're planning a trip to Tasmania when Ash gets holidays in Winter. We're hoping to go for ten days. I've never been to Tassie, but Ash has. He has family over there. I'm really looking forward to ten days away with no distractions - this will only be our second holiday as a family. Can't WAIT! July can't come soon enough!

Trying to work out how to convince Ash that we need a second car. We can either get a small crappy A to B car, or we can get a cheap-ish people mover for ME to drive and he can have the current Commodore.
I'd rather get the people-mover because it will last us long-term. It's incredibly hard to get 3 car seats across the back of the car, and with planning for another child it's time we thought ahead.

     Ash took over handling our bills and income about a month ago. I'm wishing he'd stepped up to the plate and done it a few YEARS ago, - we'd have a house by now! We have savings, and all our bills are paid, we even have spare money! He should have given me an "allowance" years ago, we'd have been much better off  financially!

    Certificate IV in Disability is going well, not much more I can say on that. I have a friend, T, who's son E has multiple disabilities. She has very nicely helped me with my first assignment. The other people in my class are quite nice - Most of them are currently working in the field, but there's one guy who is currently working in the Ice Cream machinery field! Quite a change for him. We are the "newbies" - I have previously worked in the field, but not long enough to feel like I know everything about it. So I have a lot to learn too.

     Miss M is having a lot of "behavioural issues", which are getting worse over time.
So I'm going to try T's approach of not yelling at all. Being calm, and confident. It's better than what I'm doing now, which is trying to figure something out on my own.

   Anyways, enough of an update for now, will write another blog soon!

In the meantime, contact me on Facebook or email me @   jenna_cooksley@yahoo.com.au  to request a topic for discussion

When does "a lot" become "too much" ?

    So I'm currently studying a full-time bookkeeping course online from home, and I've just enrolled in Certificate IV in Disability Services. I have a toddler home full-time, and a 6 year old in Grade 1 at primary school.
All the housework is my responsibility (I'm a bit of a control freak), and I do get behind on it a lot of the time.

I need routine to function, yet don't seem to have the ability to get myself INTO one to start with, which I think is why I'm finding it so difficult.

My fiancee believes that it's "not the right time" to take on the Cert IV. I disagree.
Cooper is home full-time, possibly an issue. Miss M is at school full time, so that should help. And yes, I do get behind on the housework - but that's because I don't believe I'm busy enough.

Yes, I know - it's slightly odd. Taking on more because you don't get your current workload done. But I've always functioned better the busier I am. And I figure, what the Hell. Stimulating my brain a bit more can only be a good thing.

Do you think I've taken on too much?

Annoying Kid Habits

   I'm feeling like crap. I've been up since 5am with what feels like Gastro.
I've been puking, and stuck in the toilet between 530 and 7am.
It's now nearly 2:30pm. I'm still feeling like crap. And I have an extra child that I said I'd mind.  Her parents didn't get the hint when I said I was feeling crap and that they probably shouldn't bring their child here. I even went into detail about what was wrong. The response was that they didn't care if she got sick, the father was sick with the same thing anyway. Not what I was trying to say, guys. Was trying to say NO.

     Fortunately, this child is a nice kid. She's easy to look after. Her and Miss M play together pretty well most of the time.
This is NOT one of those days.

Master C, who is now thankfully in bed for a nap, has been getting into mischief. I've put him in the playpen, which Miss M decides to let him out of without telling me. He's pulled down the oven door and stood on it to get to the grill so that he can pull all the foil off the tray. This is the kid who 3 days ago got his first concussion, and then made it worse the next day by falling on his head again. Wonderful.
He's also managed to find my pots and pans, which while I don't usually mind him doing that because they can't hurt him much, the sounds of them bashing and crashing is enough to make me snap.
But I don't snap, I calmly take him out of the kitchen (me calm, him screaming and trying to bite me) and distract him with other toys.

Miss M, who usually enjoys playing with her friend Miss K, has decided to be a complete and utter monster. She won't share, she insists on running around the house half-naked (without a t-shirt on), and won't stop trying to get my attention by being a pest.
Miss K is slighly better. She's not outright defying me, but she insists on giving a commentary throughout the movie I've put on because the silence is worse than the movie. And the "M did this, M did that, yeah M you need to do what your mum tells you".... enough already!  I tell M off for something, K puts her two cents in.

I rather politely told them that I'm not feeling well and told them they HAD to go play in the toyroom instead of sitting in the parents' retreat with me. They are now playing nicely together with a toy dragon of Master C's.

Miss M is managing to push every single button I have today. I'm thinking it's because I'm sick, becaue I usually do have quite a bit more tolerance than I do today.

They say people with Aspergers have harsh reactions to certain sounds. But one of those sounds, in my case, is the sound of my daughter's nasal voice. How the Hell can I deal with THAT?

With the patience and tolerance I've tried to show her so far.
Now the kids are either asleep (Master C) or playing down in Miss M's room (M and K)....
now for some peace and quiet until they decide they need to bug me more.

I wish I was feeling better, because usually I quite like having Miss K over. She's a nice kid, well mannered, and her and Miss M get along well. But ... I'm not coping today. At least they've settled down into their game now :)

Pox Parties

   Recently the discussion about Pox Parties has been brought to my attention.
For those who don't know, a "Pox Party"  is a social activity where children are deliberately exposed to chicken pox to promote immunity. Such parties are typically organized by parents on the premise of building the immune systems of their children against chicken pox (which can be more dangerous to adults than to children)Such practices are highly controversial and are discouraged by public health officials

^{This website gives some very interesting reasons for:}

http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/flex/pox-parties-pass-the-chicken-pox-please/7868/1
 
<sup>this website tries to be neutral but is ultimitely against:

http://www.canada.com/vancouver/vancouversun/news/arts/story.html?id=82330c4b-3f1b-4f1c-9436-4bffe343712a 


My personal beliefs are that no parents should actively pursue chicken pox. If it was safer for kids to catch chicken pox while they're young, then health professionals would encourage it. Instead, they condemn it.
What do you think?</sup>

 

All about ME

   When I was a child, I was bubbly and outgoing, to the point that I loved everyone and everything. I had zero coordination, but got into Little Athletics. My obsession was reading. I was reading before I was 2, fluently before I was 6. Between Grade 2 and the end of Grade 3, I managed to read every single fiction book in the school Reader boxes ( was at a different school from Prep to the end of Grade 1).
My Grade 3 teacher was giving me Year 7 work before the end of Grade 3, I was a very smart cookie.
But in being smart, I lost something... or maybe I just never had it to start with.
People skills.

I've never been able to shut my mouth when it comes to what I think or feel. I'm very transparent.
I've recently realised that it's not so much that I have bad hearing (I do, but that's another story), it's that I lipread people so I don't have to look them in the eyes. I tried to stop lipreading when I acquired some hearing aids - I could hear the words perfectly fine, but unless I could see them being formed I was unable to understand them. No idea how that works, seems weird to me, but that's just me :)

I always had a hard time making friends. Even now, at the age of 28, I struggle.
There's a few of the mums at school that I really would like to get to know, but I find myself not knowing what to say, and being so anxious that I end up saying nothing - or I feel like I'm babbling.

I have obsessive interests - disability being one of them.
My lifelong one-and-only true friend, CK, has spina bifida.
My other good friend in primary school had severe Cerebral Palsy.
I've always read up a lot on different disabilities, and got to know as much as I can about them.
I know a lot about most, my latest "obsession" is autism. I'm reading everything and everything that's been written about it, so that I can learn more about it.

I guess it's because I can relate to a lot of the problems that people with Autism have.
I am always anxious in new situations, or when the routine changes, or when the bus takes a different route to normal, or when I am in a group of people that I don't know very well.
I get anxious to the point that I don't speak at all, and people have been known to think of me as rude and aloof, when really it's only my anxiety that's stopping me from speaking. I literally become mute.

I found this definition of Aspergers quite interesting:

"Students with Asperger's syndrome may have above-average intelligence, extensive factual information, advanced vocabulary in a particular topic, exceptional memories for detail, a natural affinity for computers, be original and creative in their thought patterns, and very independent learners. However, they may also have some difficulties responding positively in the learning environment due to difficulties with cognitive flexibility and adapting to change or failure. "
Reference: http://www.adcet.edu.au/Cats/Specific_Impairments/Aspergers_and_Autism.chpx

THIS is me in a nutshell. Above average intelligence (used to be, before my brain got lazy), I remember lots of facts and information about topics that interest me, remembers detail, good with computers, not very creative though (although I've been told I am, I don't really believe it).... I just tried to write the sentence in brackets without grammar, but it was literally PAINFUL for me to see it, I had to go back and fix it.
I don't know how bad spelling and grammar can increase my anxiety but it does.
I am aware, after being told many times, that it's rude to correct people's grammar in the middle of their sentence, but it's like I'm compelled to. It's painful for me to not do it, I do it as an automatic reaction.


SO.... there are a few options.
I can try and conform to what everyone expects - which makes me extremely anxious, and I meltdown.
I can just be ME, and let whoever gets upset with me get upset.
Or I can speak to someone, maybe the GP, and see if maybe there IS a reason I am the way I am.

It gets terribly lonely being me sometimes. I offend people without realising I've been offensive, I upset people without realising that I've done anything wrong (and I'm often HORRIFIED to find I've upset someone by just being me). I have severe social anxiety, which does affect my making friends. This can be particularly hard when I come across someone I really would like to get to know, but have no idea how to go about getting to know them. Things that come naturally to most people don't come naturally to me.

Aspergers does run in my family. Mental ilness also runs in my family.
Maybe it's worth getting checked out.