MOVING DAY!!
This blog is going to be moving shortly. I have amalgamated it with my Youtube account
Stay tuned for more info!
Friday 13 April 2012
Friday 6 April 2012
Potty Training Fun
Well, today is the day. The beginning of potty training Master C.
He is 20 months and 6 days old.
Many people have said that he's too young, but I want to give it a shot. He tells me when he's done a poo sometimes, but he always tells me whether he has or not if I ask. So we're going nappy-free other than at night now. Once Madd's back at school, he'll probably go back into a nappy for school pickup, because it's impossible to change a toddler's wet pants while waiting for Miss M to finish school.
We have today, tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday. That's 4 full days to attempt toilet training. We are out on Wednesday at a friend's place, and it's a long drive to get there and back. It's also someone else's house, so I'll probably be putting him in nappies that day. Depends on how successful the next 4 days are.
I'm putting him on the potty every so often, but mostly letting him walk around naked so that he can see and feel when he wees. I'm not expecting it to happen overnight, I'm not expecting him to be accident-free in a few days. But I hope that he'll at least be able to go to the potty by himself at the end of these few days. Or at the very least, sit on the potty AFTER he's done wees. That way I'll know that he's got the association between the wees and the potty.
He is 20 months and 6 days old.
Many people have said that he's too young, but I want to give it a shot. He tells me when he's done a poo sometimes, but he always tells me whether he has or not if I ask. So we're going nappy-free other than at night now. Once Madd's back at school, he'll probably go back into a nappy for school pickup, because it's impossible to change a toddler's wet pants while waiting for Miss M to finish school.
We have today, tomorrow, Monday and Tuesday. That's 4 full days to attempt toilet training. We are out on Wednesday at a friend's place, and it's a long drive to get there and back. It's also someone else's house, so I'll probably be putting him in nappies that day. Depends on how successful the next 4 days are.
I'm putting him on the potty every so often, but mostly letting him walk around naked so that he can see and feel when he wees. I'm not expecting it to happen overnight, I'm not expecting him to be accident-free in a few days. But I hope that he'll at least be able to go to the potty by himself at the end of these few days. Or at the very least, sit on the potty AFTER he's done wees. That way I'll know that he's got the association between the wees and the potty.
I've recently had to "group" my friends on Facebook and put some on a restricted status-update list.
It's a bit of a long story as to why, but I'll try and keep it short.
My mother HATES Facebook. She doesn't like "laundry being aired"... she doesn't like the "invasion of privacy" it brings. I personally LOVE it, because it allows me to feel like I'm not alone. It allows me to vent, not to get sympathy but so that I can feel less alone. And it allows me to know how other people are doing, what they've been up to, and how they're feeling.
A few people that are on my Facebook list have been saying things to Mum about my Facebook statuses.
Things like "Oh, it's really changed our opinions of Jen, and what we thought she was like."
I have depression and anxiety. My mood can change from day to day, week to week... even hour to hour!
I put my personal life on Facebook so that others who don't always see life as a bed of roses don't feel so alone. If people aren't honest about their feelings and struggles, then so many more people feel alone.
It's like keeping suicidal thoughts and depressed thoughts to yourself- There is an organisation called Beyond Blue for a reason - they allow people to seek help.
Facebook has been a GODSEND for me. It's helped me to connect with people, and to find out how they're doing, and compare notes on parenting techniques, how to stay positive, and (thanks very much to B.A.T. for all the uplifting photos) awesomely uplifting and mood-enhancing photos.
It also allows me to try and offer support to other people, people like S.J.W. whose son B has High Functioning Autism. He's an amazing kid, and she's an amazing mother to not only him but her other 3 children. She goes through so much on a daily basis, and without Facebook it would be very difficult for me to be the ear and shoulder she sometimes needs. I never feel like I can do enough to support her, but at least with Facebook I can try harder.
Some people believe it's wrong to post their personal stuff on Facebook for all to see, but I figure that it's a good thing. So what if people know of my struggles and issues? Surely everyone else has their own issues and dramas they'd love to be able to talk about... don't they? If no one else is brave enough to post about their personal lives, I definitely can.
There are some issues I steer away from, they are just too personal and they involve my children. But most of my life is open for the picking.
So I've decided that I don't want to stop venting on Facebook. So I've created an "Acquaintance" list on my Facebook - that allows me to update my status only for those whom I trust to not go to my family or parents about it.
I recently deleted my family off Facebook, which caused a massive uproar within my extended family. So this time, I am not deleting people. So instead, I have created The List. The List of people who don't get to see my status updates, but I can still see theirs.
Thoughts, anyone?
It's a bit of a long story as to why, but I'll try and keep it short.
My mother HATES Facebook. She doesn't like "laundry being aired"... she doesn't like the "invasion of privacy" it brings. I personally LOVE it, because it allows me to feel like I'm not alone. It allows me to vent, not to get sympathy but so that I can feel less alone. And it allows me to know how other people are doing, what they've been up to, and how they're feeling.
A few people that are on my Facebook list have been saying things to Mum about my Facebook statuses.
Things like "Oh, it's really changed our opinions of Jen, and what we thought she was like."
I have depression and anxiety. My mood can change from day to day, week to week... even hour to hour!
I put my personal life on Facebook so that others who don't always see life as a bed of roses don't feel so alone. If people aren't honest about their feelings and struggles, then so many more people feel alone.
It's like keeping suicidal thoughts and depressed thoughts to yourself- There is an organisation called Beyond Blue for a reason - they allow people to seek help.
Facebook has been a GODSEND for me. It's helped me to connect with people, and to find out how they're doing, and compare notes on parenting techniques, how to stay positive, and (thanks very much to B.A.T. for all the uplifting photos) awesomely uplifting and mood-enhancing photos.
It also allows me to try and offer support to other people, people like S.J.W. whose son B has High Functioning Autism. He's an amazing kid, and she's an amazing mother to not only him but her other 3 children. She goes through so much on a daily basis, and without Facebook it would be very difficult for me to be the ear and shoulder she sometimes needs. I never feel like I can do enough to support her, but at least with Facebook I can try harder.
Some people believe it's wrong to post their personal stuff on Facebook for all to see, but I figure that it's a good thing. So what if people know of my struggles and issues? Surely everyone else has their own issues and dramas they'd love to be able to talk about... don't they? If no one else is brave enough to post about their personal lives, I definitely can.
There are some issues I steer away from, they are just too personal and they involve my children. But most of my life is open for the picking.
So I've decided that I don't want to stop venting on Facebook. So I've created an "Acquaintance" list on my Facebook - that allows me to update my status only for those whom I trust to not go to my family or parents about it.
I recently deleted my family off Facebook, which caused a massive uproar within my extended family. So this time, I am not deleting people. So instead, I have created The List. The List of people who don't get to see my status updates, but I can still see theirs.
Thoughts, anyone?
Monday 2 April 2012
WHY I HATE AUTISM
Yesterday was Autism Awareness Day. It's great that they have a day where people can educate others on autism. It can be easy to pidgeon-hole kids with autism as "bad kids" or "troubled kids"... but the problem is the Autism, not the kid.
I have several friends whose children have Autism, and adult friends with Autism. Two of them have other problems, such as Severe Intellectual Disability and Isodicentric 15 Syndrome. Some just have plain old Autism, or High Functioning Autism, or Aspergers Syndrome.
Every day I see or hear of things that the kids with Autism are doing.... hitting out of frustrating, biting out of frustration, head-banging, yelling and screaming, and basically freaking out.
I hate Autism.
Autism affects not only the person with Autism, but their parents and friends and family.
Autism stresses the kid out.... they are angry and hostile and often don't know why.
Autism causes stress to the parents - the mum can feel helpless, and alone.
Autism sucks. Autism is an asshole. Autism needs to fuck off.
Anyone who doesn't know much about Autism should read up on it. Read the blogs from parents of kids with Autism. Most parents of kids with Autism are strong people - they need to be to help their kids survive in a world they don't always understand.
Most parents try to stay happy and cheerful, even whilst their child is in the middle of a meltdown. The alternative is to lose your shit and get angry or upset - which doesn't help them or their kid.
There should be so much more support for kids with Autism, but there's not. There is a HUGE lack of help. When the child has a meltdown, it is up to the parents to handle it with almost no support. Friends can only do so much - sometimes just the prescence of another person can set the child off into an even worse meltdown.
One of the most common misconception about an autistic meltdown is that it is a common, everyday temper tantrum. The parent or caregiver is often scorned by members of the public as being unable to control the individual. It is important to point out that while the physical aggressions associated with autistic escalation and meltdown appears similar to a temper tantrum, the two events are completely different.
(borrowed from http://www.autismems.net/57801/82012.html)
I encourage anyone who doesn't know much about Autism to read up on it. Life for parents of kids with Autism sucks. There are awesome days where you are so proud of your kids and how far they've come. Then there's regression when they go majorly backward. Then there's the moving forward again and gaining so much more. Watching your kid play happily and make a friend. Watching them calmly engaging in an activity.
Life with autism is a rollercoaster. Up, down, up, down - and without proper support, it's worse than it has to be.
If you know someone who has autism, or a parent with a child with autism, SHOW THEM SUPPORT.
Be there for them to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, someone to cheer them up when they need it. Even if you can't always be there in person (whether you're unable or it's going to make things escalate), be there in emotion and support.
I have several friends whose children have Autism, and adult friends with Autism. Two of them have other problems, such as Severe Intellectual Disability and Isodicentric 15 Syndrome. Some just have plain old Autism, or High Functioning Autism, or Aspergers Syndrome.
Every day I see or hear of things that the kids with Autism are doing.... hitting out of frustrating, biting out of frustration, head-banging, yelling and screaming, and basically freaking out.
I hate Autism.
Autism affects not only the person with Autism, but their parents and friends and family.
Autism stresses the kid out.... they are angry and hostile and often don't know why.
Autism causes stress to the parents - the mum can feel helpless, and alone.
Autism sucks. Autism is an asshole. Autism needs to fuck off.
Anyone who doesn't know much about Autism should read up on it. Read the blogs from parents of kids with Autism. Most parents of kids with Autism are strong people - they need to be to help their kids survive in a world they don't always understand.
Most parents try to stay happy and cheerful, even whilst their child is in the middle of a meltdown. The alternative is to lose your shit and get angry or upset - which doesn't help them or their kid.
There should be so much more support for kids with Autism, but there's not. There is a HUGE lack of help. When the child has a meltdown, it is up to the parents to handle it with almost no support. Friends can only do so much - sometimes just the prescence of another person can set the child off into an even worse meltdown.
One of the most common misconception about an autistic meltdown is that it is a common, everyday temper tantrum. The parent or caregiver is often scorned by members of the public as being unable to control the individual. It is important to point out that while the physical aggressions associated with autistic escalation and meltdown appears similar to a temper tantrum, the two events are completely different.
I encourage anyone who doesn't know much about Autism to read up on it. Life for parents of kids with Autism sucks. There are awesome days where you are so proud of your kids and how far they've come. Then there's regression when they go majorly backward. Then there's the moving forward again and gaining so much more. Watching your kid play happily and make a friend. Watching them calmly engaging in an activity.
Life with autism is a rollercoaster. Up, down, up, down - and without proper support, it's worse than it has to be.
If you know someone who has autism, or a parent with a child with autism, SHOW THEM SUPPORT.
Be there for them to talk to, a shoulder to cry on, someone to cheer them up when they need it. Even if you can't always be there in person (whether you're unable or it's going to make things escalate), be there in emotion and support.
Tuesday 27 March 2012
Life
Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I posted!
Master C is doing well, although I still can't believe he'll be 2 this year in August!
He's gone from walking to running, he can climb very well; throws a few tantrums but nothing major, and he LOVES to eat! Fortunately it includes healthy things like grapes, bananas, apples, pears, vegemite sandwiches on grain bread.... my bubba loves his food.
His vocabulary consists of about 50 words at the moment, including
Mummy, Daddy, Ash (Daddy's name!), Car, Cuck (Truck), Puppy, Barbie, Baby, Pease (Please), "Uh oh" (the current favourite), Wheeee!, Whereisshe? (said VERY often when Miss M is at school!), Uncle, Juice..... and many more.
He has very distinct sounds and actions for yes and no. A short "uh" is yes. A long "uhhh" coupled with a turning-away of the head is no.
Miss M is doing a lot better at school.
Her behaviour is mostly under control, and she is doing well. She has fewer meltdowns, because I'm starting to figure out her triggers and avoid them.
She usually melts down at the restaurant, so we haven't been there for weeks. Today we went there for ice cream, and she was very well behaved and calm.
She was skipping class (yes, my child in Grade 1). She was hiding in the playground at the end of lunch and not going back into class. So something at school seems to be bothering her, because every single morning I get the "I don't wanna go to school!" crap from her. But she's not the sort of kid who just "doesn't want to".... she always has a reason even if it's not yet known.
So we have her at a behavioural optometrist on Friday afternoon, will update you and let you know how she goes.
Having L & S over for dinner tomorrow night, really looking forward to it. L & S are Ash and my "couple-friends"... they're awesome awesome awesome people, very supportive and non-judgmental. I was fortunate to meet them and become friends with them, because they never judge my parenting with Miss M.
I deleted my entire family off Facebook last week. I did it because sometimes it's nice to vent my spleen without having to worry about the "gossip" getting back to my mother... she's not on Facebook, and hates people knowing "dirty laundry", and particularly hates me talking about "personal stuff" on Facebook.
I also made a comment about how I need supportive people around me right now while I"m dealing with Miss M's issues, and made a comment along the lines of
"I hate how some people complain about my kid, and things she does, when they have sooky whiny kids who they think are perfect"..... a family member believed I was talking about his children. Whoops.
I actually wasn't talking about his kids, although in the past they have been sooky and whiny. So have mine. So have most kids in the world! But apparently pointing it out is a "Taboo Subject", one of those many social things that don't quite make sense to me.
Apparently I'm also a hypocrite, because I say bad things about other people's kids but can't handle bad things being said about my kids.
Not true.
I have no problem with people pointing out my kids' flaws in a CONSTRUCTIVE way, but calling Miss M a "bad kid" is incorrect. She's not a bad kid, she has issues that need to be dealt with and I'm doing the best job I can.
I'm aware that I have very little tact. Some would say that I lack tact entirely. But that's always been a quality that has been a blessing rather than a curse. I don't lie, so I will always answer honestly - a trait that most people lack. I'm still learning how to be subtle and use tact. Close friends and good friends of mine understand that it's not something that comes naturally to me, and they understand that.
I'm not sure why my family have overreacted to my deleting them off Facebook. I figured I was under no obligation to have them on Facebook. They're not friends, they are family. I don't dislike them, but I'm also not that close to them. We are very different people.
Was I wrong to delete them off Facebook?
I don't know.
Master C is doing well, although I still can't believe he'll be 2 this year in August!
He's gone from walking to running, he can climb very well; throws a few tantrums but nothing major, and he LOVES to eat! Fortunately it includes healthy things like grapes, bananas, apples, pears, vegemite sandwiches on grain bread.... my bubba loves his food.
His vocabulary consists of about 50 words at the moment, including
Mummy, Daddy, Ash (Daddy's name!), Car, Cuck (Truck), Puppy, Barbie, Baby, Pease (Please), "Uh oh" (the current favourite), Wheeee!, Whereisshe? (said VERY often when Miss M is at school!), Uncle, Juice..... and many more.
He has very distinct sounds and actions for yes and no. A short "uh" is yes. A long "uhhh" coupled with a turning-away of the head is no.
Miss M is doing a lot better at school.
Her behaviour is mostly under control, and she is doing well. She has fewer meltdowns, because I'm starting to figure out her triggers and avoid them.
She usually melts down at the restaurant, so we haven't been there for weeks. Today we went there for ice cream, and she was very well behaved and calm.
She was skipping class (yes, my child in Grade 1). She was hiding in the playground at the end of lunch and not going back into class. So something at school seems to be bothering her, because every single morning I get the "I don't wanna go to school!" crap from her. But she's not the sort of kid who just "doesn't want to".... she always has a reason even if it's not yet known.
So we have her at a behavioural optometrist on Friday afternoon, will update you and let you know how she goes.
Having L & S over for dinner tomorrow night, really looking forward to it. L & S are Ash and my "couple-friends"... they're awesome awesome awesome people, very supportive and non-judgmental. I was fortunate to meet them and become friends with them, because they never judge my parenting with Miss M.
I deleted my entire family off Facebook last week. I did it because sometimes it's nice to vent my spleen without having to worry about the "gossip" getting back to my mother... she's not on Facebook, and hates people knowing "dirty laundry", and particularly hates me talking about "personal stuff" on Facebook.
I also made a comment about how I need supportive people around me right now while I"m dealing with Miss M's issues, and made a comment along the lines of
"I hate how some people complain about my kid, and things she does, when they have sooky whiny kids who they think are perfect"..... a family member believed I was talking about his children. Whoops.
I actually wasn't talking about his kids, although in the past they have been sooky and whiny. So have mine. So have most kids in the world! But apparently pointing it out is a "Taboo Subject", one of those many social things that don't quite make sense to me.
Apparently I'm also a hypocrite, because I say bad things about other people's kids but can't handle bad things being said about my kids.
Not true.
I have no problem with people pointing out my kids' flaws in a CONSTRUCTIVE way, but calling Miss M a "bad kid" is incorrect. She's not a bad kid, she has issues that need to be dealt with and I'm doing the best job I can.
I'm aware that I have very little tact. Some would say that I lack tact entirely. But that's always been a quality that has been a blessing rather than a curse. I don't lie, so I will always answer honestly - a trait that most people lack. I'm still learning how to be subtle and use tact. Close friends and good friends of mine understand that it's not something that comes naturally to me, and they understand that.
I'm not sure why my family have overreacted to my deleting them off Facebook. I figured I was under no obligation to have them on Facebook. They're not friends, they are family. I don't dislike them, but I'm also not that close to them. We are very different people.
Was I wrong to delete them off Facebook?
I don't know.
Monday 5 March 2012
Emotional issue - is my child "normal"?
I'm at my wit's end with Miss M..
This morning she wouldn't let my brother out of the house to go to work (he leaves at 6am, and she kept following him down the drive, and kept doing it every time he'd bring her back inside and tell her she had to stay inside)... and then she stood in front of the door. Being that my brother's not the sharpest tool in the shed (he has learning difficulties, which also affects his maturity and reasoning), he didn't think to wake us up to deal with her, so he ended up being late for work. She's also been going into Master C and my brother's room and waking them up between 4 and 5am every morning for the past few weeks, no matter what we threaten or say.
Her teacher came and spoke to me at the end of school today, her and one of the twins in her class (a boy) were found missing at the start of class after recess... they were found hiding in the playground. They both got in trouble.
The teacher's also realised what I was talking about with Miss M last year, with her behavioural problems. They're coming out at school now instead of just at home.
My mums answer to this is that I should ease up on her at home, and stop being so strict. I don't see how that can work, because there's just so much silly stuff she does, like running from each end of the house to the other end and hitting the wall, and then going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth - or not sharing with her brother when the toys they're playing with are HIS, and not going to bed on time, blah blah blah. Usual kid stuff, but she fights me at every turn.
Her teacher is now seeing the misbehaving, not concentrating, not sitting still, not listening, and being defiant. It's kinda nice, because she can now see what I was talking about and that it wasn't all in my head. But on the flipside, it means it's NOT just me and there's something wrong with her.
Her teacher is going to find out what they can do about getting a behavioural specialist to come into the school and help her, or see if we have to go out of school hours or whatever.
It's been a rather stressful day, and I had to miss night class tonight because I couldn't leave her with my brother. I just didn't trust her to behave and not give him a hard time.
So... yeah. that's been my day in a nutshell. It's been a good one... not.
So after teachers and other parents telling me that my kid is either "naughty", "a bad kid" (yes, she's been called that by other parents before), or "a typical 6 year old" (she's a lot more extreme than that), it seems like someone in authority is finally seeing what I see every day.
This morning she wouldn't let my brother out of the house to go to work (he leaves at 6am, and she kept following him down the drive, and kept doing it every time he'd bring her back inside and tell her she had to stay inside)... and then she stood in front of the door. Being that my brother's not the sharpest tool in the shed (he has learning difficulties, which also affects his maturity and reasoning), he didn't think to wake us up to deal with her, so he ended up being late for work. She's also been going into Master C and my brother's room and waking them up between 4 and 5am every morning for the past few weeks, no matter what we threaten or say.
Her teacher came and spoke to me at the end of school today, her and one of the twins in her class (a boy) were found missing at the start of class after recess... they were found hiding in the playground. They both got in trouble.
The teacher's also realised what I was talking about with Miss M last year, with her behavioural problems. They're coming out at school now instead of just at home.
My mums answer to this is that I should ease up on her at home, and stop being so strict. I don't see how that can work, because there's just so much silly stuff she does, like running from each end of the house to the other end and hitting the wall, and then going back and forth and back and forth and back and forth - or not sharing with her brother when the toys they're playing with are HIS, and not going to bed on time, blah blah blah. Usual kid stuff, but she fights me at every turn.
Her teacher is now seeing the misbehaving, not concentrating, not sitting still, not listening, and being defiant. It's kinda nice, because she can now see what I was talking about and that it wasn't all in my head. But on the flipside, it means it's NOT just me and there's something wrong with her.
Her teacher is going to find out what they can do about getting a behavioural specialist to come into the school and help her, or see if we have to go out of school hours or whatever.
It's been a rather stressful day, and I had to miss night class tonight because I couldn't leave her with my brother. I just didn't trust her to behave and not give him a hard time.
So... yeah. that's been my day in a nutshell. It's been a good one... not.
So after teachers and other parents telling me that my kid is either "naughty", "a bad kid" (yes, she's been called that by other parents before), or "a typical 6 year old" (she's a lot more extreme than that), it seems like someone in authority is finally seeing what I see every day.
Wednesday 29 February 2012
Been too long - time for an update!
So... what's new in the house?
I brought home a bar about a month ago, decided to do it up for Ash, since he's always wanted a bar.
WHAT WE FOUND ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD
AFTER WE BROUGHT IT HOME AND FIXED IT UP A LITTLE
So that kept my brother and I busy.
He is currently staying with us - I can tell you, it's pretty interesting having 3 adults a school kid and a toddler all in the one small 3 bedroom unit.
He is currently sharing a room with Master C.
Ash is FINALLY getting some driving lessons! At 33, he's finally doing it. I look forward to him getting his licence and getting a second car. Yay!
We're planning a trip to Tasmania when Ash gets holidays in Winter. We're hoping to go for ten days. I've never been to Tassie, but Ash has. He has family over there. I'm really looking forward to ten days away with no distractions - this will only be our second holiday as a family. Can't WAIT! July can't come soon enough!
Trying to work out how to convince Ash that we need a second car. We can either get a small crappy A to B car, or we can get a cheap-ish people mover for ME to drive and he can have the current Commodore.
I'd rather get the people-mover because it will last us long-term. It's incredibly hard to get 3 car seats across the back of the car, and with planning for another child it's time we thought ahead.
Ash took over handling our bills and income about a month ago. I'm wishing he'd stepped up to the plate and done it a few YEARS ago, - we'd have a house by now! We have savings, and all our bills are paid, we even have spare money! He should have given me an "allowance" years ago, we'd have been much better off financially!
Certificate IV in Disability is going well, not much more I can say on that. I have a friend, T, who's son E has multiple disabilities. She has very nicely helped me with my first assignment. The other people in my class are quite nice - Most of them are currently working in the field, but there's one guy who is currently working in the Ice Cream machinery field! Quite a change for him. We are the "newbies" - I have previously worked in the field, but not long enough to feel like I know everything about it. So I have a lot to learn too.
Miss M is having a lot of "behavioural issues", which are getting worse over time.
So I'm going to try T's approach of not yelling at all. Being calm, and confident. It's better than what I'm doing now, which is trying to figure something out on my own.
Anyways, enough of an update for now, will write another blog soon!
In the meantime, contact me on Facebook or email me @ jenna_cooksley@yahoo.com.au to request a topic for discussion
I brought home a bar about a month ago, decided to do it up for Ash, since he's always wanted a bar.
So that kept my brother and I busy.
He is currently staying with us - I can tell you, it's pretty interesting having 3 adults a school kid and a toddler all in the one small 3 bedroom unit.
He is currently sharing a room with Master C.
Ash is FINALLY getting some driving lessons! At 33, he's finally doing it. I look forward to him getting his licence and getting a second car. Yay!
We're planning a trip to Tasmania when Ash gets holidays in Winter. We're hoping to go for ten days. I've never been to Tassie, but Ash has. He has family over there. I'm really looking forward to ten days away with no distractions - this will only be our second holiday as a family. Can't WAIT! July can't come soon enough!
Trying to work out how to convince Ash that we need a second car. We can either get a small crappy A to B car, or we can get a cheap-ish people mover for ME to drive and he can have the current Commodore.
I'd rather get the people-mover because it will last us long-term. It's incredibly hard to get 3 car seats across the back of the car, and with planning for another child it's time we thought ahead.
Ash took over handling our bills and income about a month ago. I'm wishing he'd stepped up to the plate and done it a few YEARS ago, - we'd have a house by now! We have savings, and all our bills are paid, we even have spare money! He should have given me an "allowance" years ago, we'd have been much better off financially!
Certificate IV in Disability is going well, not much more I can say on that. I have a friend, T, who's son E has multiple disabilities. She has very nicely helped me with my first assignment. The other people in my class are quite nice - Most of them are currently working in the field, but there's one guy who is currently working in the Ice Cream machinery field! Quite a change for him. We are the "newbies" - I have previously worked in the field, but not long enough to feel like I know everything about it. So I have a lot to learn too.
Miss M is having a lot of "behavioural issues", which are getting worse over time.
So I'm going to try T's approach of not yelling at all. Being calm, and confident. It's better than what I'm doing now, which is trying to figure something out on my own.
Anyways, enough of an update for now, will write another blog soon!
In the meantime, contact me on Facebook or email me @ jenna_cooksley@yahoo.com.au to request a topic for discussion
Saturday 11 February 2012
When does "a lot" become "too much" ?
So I'm currently studying a full-time bookkeeping course online from home, and I've just enrolled in Certificate IV in Disability Services. I have a toddler home full-time, and a 6 year old in Grade 1 at primary school.
All the housework is my responsibility (I'm a bit of a control freak), and I do get behind on it a lot of the time.
I need routine to function, yet don't seem to have the ability to get myself INTO one to start with, which I think is why I'm finding it so difficult.
My fiancee believes that it's "not the right time" to take on the Cert IV. I disagree.
Cooper is home full-time, possibly an issue. Miss M is at school full time, so that should help. And yes, I do get behind on the housework - but that's because I don't believe I'm busy enough.
Yes, I know - it's slightly odd. Taking on more because you don't get your current workload done. But I've always functioned better the busier I am. And I figure, what the Hell. Stimulating my brain a bit more can only be a good thing.
Do you think I've taken on too much?
All the housework is my responsibility (I'm a bit of a control freak), and I do get behind on it a lot of the time.
I need routine to function, yet don't seem to have the ability to get myself INTO one to start with, which I think is why I'm finding it so difficult.
My fiancee believes that it's "not the right time" to take on the Cert IV. I disagree.
Cooper is home full-time, possibly an issue. Miss M is at school full time, so that should help. And yes, I do get behind on the housework - but that's because I don't believe I'm busy enough.
Yes, I know - it's slightly odd. Taking on more because you don't get your current workload done. But I've always functioned better the busier I am. And I figure, what the Hell. Stimulating my brain a bit more can only be a good thing.
Do you think I've taken on too much?
Friday 10 February 2012
Annoying Kid Habits
I'm feeling like crap. I've been up since 5am with what feels like Gastro.
I've been puking, and stuck in the toilet between 530 and 7am.
It's now nearly 2:30pm. I'm still feeling like crap. And I have an extra child that I said I'd mind. Her parents didn't get the hint when I said I was feeling crap and that they probably shouldn't bring their child here. I even went into detail about what was wrong. The response was that they didn't care if she got sick, the father was sick with the same thing anyway. Not what I was trying to say, guys. Was trying to say NO.
Fortunately, this child is a nice kid. She's easy to look after. Her and Miss M play together pretty well most of the time.
This is NOT one of those days.
Master C, who is now thankfully in bed for a nap, has been getting into mischief. I've put him in the playpen, which Miss M decides to let him out of without telling me. He's pulled down the oven door and stood on it to get to the grill so that he can pull all the foil off the tray. This is the kid who 3 days ago got his first concussion, and then made it worse the next day by falling on his head again. Wonderful.
He's also managed to find my pots and pans, which while I don't usually mind him doing that because they can't hurt him much, the sounds of them bashing and crashing is enough to make me snap.
But I don't snap, I calmly take him out of the kitchen (me calm, him screaming and trying to bite me) and distract him with other toys.
Miss M, who usually enjoys playing with her friend Miss K, has decided to be a complete and utter monster. She won't share, she insists on running around the house half-naked (without a t-shirt on), and won't stop trying to get my attention by being a pest.
Miss K is slighly better. She's not outright defying me, but she insists on giving a commentary throughout the movie I've put on because the silence is worse than the movie. And the "M did this, M did that, yeah M you need to do what your mum tells you".... enough already! I tell M off for something, K puts her two cents in.
I rather politely told them that I'm not feeling well and told them they HAD to go play in the toyroom instead of sitting in the parents' retreat with me. They are now playing nicely together with a toy dragon of Master C's.
Miss M is managing to push every single button I have today. I'm thinking it's because I'm sick, becaue I usually do have quite a bit more tolerance than I do today.
They say people with Aspergers have harsh reactions to certain sounds. But one of those sounds, in my case, is the sound of my daughter's nasal voice. How the Hell can I deal with THAT?
With the patience and tolerance I've tried to show her so far.
Now the kids are either asleep (Master C) or playing down in Miss M's room (M and K)....
now for some peace and quiet until they decide they need to bug me more.
I wish I was feeling better, because usually I quite like having Miss K over. She's a nice kid, well mannered, and her and Miss M get along well. But ... I'm not coping today. At least they've settled down into their game now :)
I've been puking, and stuck in the toilet between 530 and 7am.
It's now nearly 2:30pm. I'm still feeling like crap. And I have an extra child that I said I'd mind. Her parents didn't get the hint when I said I was feeling crap and that they probably shouldn't bring their child here. I even went into detail about what was wrong. The response was that they didn't care if she got sick, the father was sick with the same thing anyway. Not what I was trying to say, guys. Was trying to say NO.
Fortunately, this child is a nice kid. She's easy to look after. Her and Miss M play together pretty well most of the time.
This is NOT one of those days.
Master C, who is now thankfully in bed for a nap, has been getting into mischief. I've put him in the playpen, which Miss M decides to let him out of without telling me. He's pulled down the oven door and stood on it to get to the grill so that he can pull all the foil off the tray. This is the kid who 3 days ago got his first concussion, and then made it worse the next day by falling on his head again. Wonderful.
He's also managed to find my pots and pans, which while I don't usually mind him doing that because they can't hurt him much, the sounds of them bashing and crashing is enough to make me snap.
But I don't snap, I calmly take him out of the kitchen (me calm, him screaming and trying to bite me) and distract him with other toys.
Miss M, who usually enjoys playing with her friend Miss K, has decided to be a complete and utter monster. She won't share, she insists on running around the house half-naked (without a t-shirt on), and won't stop trying to get my attention by being a pest.
Miss K is slighly better. She's not outright defying me, but she insists on giving a commentary throughout the movie I've put on because the silence is worse than the movie. And the "M did this, M did that, yeah M you need to do what your mum tells you".... enough already! I tell M off for something, K puts her two cents in.
I rather politely told them that I'm not feeling well and told them they HAD to go play in the toyroom instead of sitting in the parents' retreat with me. They are now playing nicely together with a toy dragon of Master C's.
Miss M is managing to push every single button I have today. I'm thinking it's because I'm sick, becaue I usually do have quite a bit more tolerance than I do today.
They say people with Aspergers have harsh reactions to certain sounds. But one of those sounds, in my case, is the sound of my daughter's nasal voice. How the Hell can I deal with THAT?
With the patience and tolerance I've tried to show her so far.
Now the kids are either asleep (Master C) or playing down in Miss M's room (M and K)....
now for some peace and quiet until they decide they need to bug me more.
I wish I was feeling better, because usually I quite like having Miss K over. She's a nice kid, well mannered, and her and Miss M get along well. But ... I'm not coping today. At least they've settled down into their game now :)
Tuesday 7 February 2012
Pox Parties
Recently the discussion about Pox Parties has been brought to my attention.
For those who don't know, a "Pox Party" is a social activity where children are deliberately exposed to chicken pox to promote immunity. Such parties are typically organized by parents on the premise of building the immune systems of their children against chicken pox (which can be more dangerous to adults than to children)Such practices are highly controversial and are discouraged by public health officials
This website gives some very interesting reasons for:
http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/flex/pox-parties-pass-the-chicken-pox-please/7868/1
this website tries to be neutral but is ultimitely against:
http://www.canada.com/vancouver/vancouversun/news/arts/story.html?id=82330c4b-3f1b-4f1c-9436-4bffe343712a
My personal beliefs are that no parents should actively pursue chicken pox. If it was safer for kids to catch chicken pox while they're young, then health professionals would encourage it. Instead, they condemn it.
What do you think?
For those who don't know, a "Pox Party" is a social activity where children are deliberately exposed to chicken pox to promote immunity. Such parties are typically organized by parents on the premise of building the immune systems of their children against chicken pox (which can be more dangerous to adults than to children)Such practices are highly controversial and are discouraged by public health officials
This website gives some very interesting reasons for:
http://www.naturalparenting.com.au/flex/pox-parties-pass-the-chicken-pox-please/7868/1
this website tries to be neutral but is ultimitely against:
http://www.canada.com/vancouver/vancouversun/news/arts/story.html?id=82330c4b-3f1b-4f1c-9436-4bffe343712a
My personal beliefs are that no parents should actively pursue chicken pox. If it was safer for kids to catch chicken pox while they're young, then health professionals would encourage it. Instead, they condemn it.
What do you think?
Friday 3 February 2012
All about ME
When I was a child, I was bubbly and outgoing, to the point that I loved everyone and everything. I had zero coordination, but got into Little Athletics. My obsession was reading. I was reading before I was 2, fluently before I was 6. Between Grade 2 and the end of Grade 3, I managed to read every single fiction book in the school Reader boxes ( was at a different school from Prep to the end of Grade 1).
My Grade 3 teacher was giving me Year 7 work before the end of Grade 3, I was a very smart cookie.
But in being smart, I lost something... or maybe I just never had it to start with.
People skills.
I've never been able to shut my mouth when it comes to what I think or feel. I'm very transparent.
I've recently realised that it's not so much that I have bad hearing (I do, but that's another story), it's that I lipread people so I don't have to look them in the eyes. I tried to stop lipreading when I acquired some hearing aids - I could hear the words perfectly fine, but unless I could see them being formed I was unable to understand them. No idea how that works, seems weird to me, but that's just me :)
I always had a hard time making friends. Even now, at the age of 28, I struggle.
There's a few of the mums at school that I really would like to get to know, but I find myself not knowing what to say, and being so anxious that I end up saying nothing - or I feel like I'm babbling.
I have obsessive interests - disability being one of them.
My lifelong one-and-only true friend, CK, has spina bifida.
My other good friend in primary school had severe Cerebral Palsy.
I've always read up a lot on different disabilities, and got to know as much as I can about them.
I know a lot about most, my latest "obsession" is autism. I'm reading everything and everything that's been written about it, so that I can learn more about it.
I guess it's because I can relate to a lot of the problems that people with Autism have.
I am always anxious in new situations, or when the routine changes, or when the bus takes a different route to normal, or when I am in a group of people that I don't know very well.
I get anxious to the point that I don't speak at all, and people have been known to think of me as rude and aloof, when really it's only my anxiety that's stopping me from speaking. I literally become mute.
I found this definition of Aspergers quite interesting:
"Students with Asperger's syndrome may have above-average intelligence, extensive factual information, advanced vocabulary in a particular topic, exceptional memories for detail, a natural affinity for computers, be original and creative in their thought patterns, and very independent learners. However, they may also have some difficulties responding positively in the learning environment due to difficulties with cognitive flexibility and adapting to change or failure. "
Reference: http://www.adcet.edu.au/Cats/Specific_Impairments/Aspergers_and_Autism.chpx
THIS is me in a nutshell. Above average intelligence (used to be, before my brain got lazy), I remember lots of facts and information about topics that interest me, remembers detail, good with computers, not very creative though (although I've been told I am, I don't really believe it).... I just tried to write the sentence in brackets without grammar, but it was literally PAINFUL for me to see it, I had to go back and fix it.
I don't know how bad spelling and grammar can increase my anxiety but it does.
I am aware, after being told many times, that it's rude to correct people's grammar in the middle of their sentence, but it's like I'm compelled to. It's painful for me to not do it, I do it as an automatic reaction.
SO.... there are a few options.
I can try and conform to what everyone expects - which makes me extremely anxious, and I meltdown.
I can just be ME, and let whoever gets upset with me get upset.
Or I can speak to someone, maybe the GP, and see if maybe there IS a reason I am the way I am.
It gets terribly lonely being me sometimes. I offend people without realising I've been offensive, I upset people without realising that I've done anything wrong (and I'm often HORRIFIED to find I've upset someone by just being me). I have severe social anxiety, which does affect my making friends. This can be particularly hard when I come across someone I really would like to get to know, but have no idea how to go about getting to know them. Things that come naturally to most people don't come naturally to me.
Aspergers does run in my family. Mental ilness also runs in my family.
Maybe it's worth getting checked out.
My Grade 3 teacher was giving me Year 7 work before the end of Grade 3, I was a very smart cookie.
But in being smart, I lost something... or maybe I just never had it to start with.
People skills.
I've never been able to shut my mouth when it comes to what I think or feel. I'm very transparent.
I've recently realised that it's not so much that I have bad hearing (I do, but that's another story), it's that I lipread people so I don't have to look them in the eyes. I tried to stop lipreading when I acquired some hearing aids - I could hear the words perfectly fine, but unless I could see them being formed I was unable to understand them. No idea how that works, seems weird to me, but that's just me :)
I always had a hard time making friends. Even now, at the age of 28, I struggle.
There's a few of the mums at school that I really would like to get to know, but I find myself not knowing what to say, and being so anxious that I end up saying nothing - or I feel like I'm babbling.
I have obsessive interests - disability being one of them.
My lifelong one-and-only true friend, CK, has spina bifida.
My other good friend in primary school had severe Cerebral Palsy.
I've always read up a lot on different disabilities, and got to know as much as I can about them.
I know a lot about most, my latest "obsession" is autism. I'm reading everything and everything that's been written about it, so that I can learn more about it.
I guess it's because I can relate to a lot of the problems that people with Autism have.
I am always anxious in new situations, or when the routine changes, or when the bus takes a different route to normal, or when I am in a group of people that I don't know very well.
I get anxious to the point that I don't speak at all, and people have been known to think of me as rude and aloof, when really it's only my anxiety that's stopping me from speaking. I literally become mute.
I found this definition of Aspergers quite interesting:
"Students with Asperger's syndrome may have above-average intelligence, extensive factual information, advanced vocabulary in a particular topic, exceptional memories for detail, a natural affinity for computers, be original and creative in their thought patterns, and very independent learners. However, they may also have some difficulties responding positively in the learning environment due to difficulties with cognitive flexibility and adapting to change or failure. "
Reference: http://www.adcet.edu.au/Cats/Specific_Impairments/Aspergers_and_Autism.chpx
THIS is me in a nutshell. Above average intelligence (used to be, before my brain got lazy), I remember lots of facts and information about topics that interest me, remembers detail, good with computers, not very creative though (although I've been told I am, I don't really believe it).... I just tried to write the sentence in brackets without grammar, but it was literally PAINFUL for me to see it, I had to go back and fix it.
I don't know how bad spelling and grammar can increase my anxiety but it does.
I am aware, after being told many times, that it's rude to correct people's grammar in the middle of their sentence, but it's like I'm compelled to. It's painful for me to not do it, I do it as an automatic reaction.
SO.... there are a few options.
I can try and conform to what everyone expects - which makes me extremely anxious, and I meltdown.
I can just be ME, and let whoever gets upset with me get upset.
Or I can speak to someone, maybe the GP, and see if maybe there IS a reason I am the way I am.
It gets terribly lonely being me sometimes. I offend people without realising I've been offensive, I upset people without realising that I've done anything wrong (and I'm often HORRIFIED to find I've upset someone by just being me). I have severe social anxiety, which does affect my making friends. This can be particularly hard when I come across someone I really would like to get to know, but have no idea how to go about getting to know them. Things that come naturally to most people don't come naturally to me.
Aspergers does run in my family. Mental ilness also runs in my family.
Maybe it's worth getting checked out.
Sunday 29 January 2012
How much forgiveness is too much?
So I've pushed a few "friends" out of my life lately. I made a conscious decision to be more "choosy" with my friends, and people who I let in my life. After a few toxic friendships, I decided it was something that I needed to do.
Bye A, who has spun me lie after lie, and bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse.
Bye P, who tornadoed into my life and brought a shoulder to cry on, lots of understanding hugs, and unfortunately selfish chaos. I loved you friend, but you brought out the worst in both of us.
I'm trialling a temporary "bye" to my mother - the Queen of Narcissism, and expert on emotional blackmail.
The one who feels the need to override my parenting of my children, and constantly tell me I'm parenting "wrong", and not the way she-herself would do it. Constantly putting me down, and pointing out my faults.
Yes, I know I have crappy people skills. I know that I can be a harsh parent at times, but I want my kids to learn right from wrong, and I ALWAYS explain to the kids why I won't allow a certain behaviour.
I'm black-and-white, I often have trouble seeing the shades. I can always see others' viewpoints, even if I won't back down and agree with them.
SO... just how much is too much forgiveness. How do you handle trying to forgive your mother when she just keeps throwing insults at you and won't accept that, although I may be in the wrong, she is too?
How many times can you handle your self-titled "best friend" lying to you (even white lies) and bullshit excuses before you say "enough"?
Bye A, who has spun me lie after lie, and bullshit excuse after bullshit excuse.
Bye P, who tornadoed into my life and brought a shoulder to cry on, lots of understanding hugs, and unfortunately selfish chaos. I loved you friend, but you brought out the worst in both of us.
I'm trialling a temporary "bye" to my mother - the Queen of Narcissism, and expert on emotional blackmail.
The one who feels the need to override my parenting of my children, and constantly tell me I'm parenting "wrong", and not the way she-herself would do it. Constantly putting me down, and pointing out my faults.
Yes, I know I have crappy people skills. I know that I can be a harsh parent at times, but I want my kids to learn right from wrong, and I ALWAYS explain to the kids why I won't allow a certain behaviour.
I'm black-and-white, I often have trouble seeing the shades. I can always see others' viewpoints, even if I won't back down and agree with them.
SO... just how much is too much forgiveness. How do you handle trying to forgive your mother when she just keeps throwing insults at you and won't accept that, although I may be in the wrong, she is too?
How many times can you handle your self-titled "best friend" lying to you (even white lies) and bullshit excuses before you say "enough"?
Wednesday 25 January 2012
Facebook and Real-Life
Recently a Facebook friend of mine changed her status from "Married" to "Single".
It turned from a simple status change, to absolute chaos. People posted "What's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" My friend responded that her husband had been cheating on her and had left her for another woman.
Instead of her Facebook friends supporting her and sending her messages of caring and encouragement, it turned into a bitchfight. His mother was posting "My son wouldn't do anything of the sort", and my friend replying with "Well your son, my husband, told me himself."
Which brings to light, yet again, the issue of Facebook and whether we should be posting our personal lives on Facebook for all to see - as some would say, "Airing our dirty laundry".
Some say that it's wrong to vent on Facebook, that it's a breach of privacy and immoral.
I am not one of those. As those on my friends list will know, I'm a big fan of venting on Facebook.
I'm conversationally-challenged, but I'm very good at typing my feelings out and posting them.
But I can also see the other side of the fence.
I am adopted, but my adoptive mother HATES people knowing. If I want to have a rant on Facebook about my birth family, or about being adopted, I have the worry that Mum will see my statuses (she's no longer on Facebook thank goodness) and get upset. There's always the chance that someone will get upset with what you post.
But Facebook can be a great venting ground. It's a great place to get your frustrations out and seek some emotional support. I've never really been one to hide how I feel - if I have a problem, or an issue, I'm more than happy to seek support on Facebook.
What do you think? How do you feel about people venting on Facebook?
It turned from a simple status change, to absolute chaos. People posted "What's wrong? Are you okay? What happened?" My friend responded that her husband had been cheating on her and had left her for another woman.
Instead of her Facebook friends supporting her and sending her messages of caring and encouragement, it turned into a bitchfight. His mother was posting "My son wouldn't do anything of the sort", and my friend replying with "Well your son, my husband, told me himself."
Which brings to light, yet again, the issue of Facebook and whether we should be posting our personal lives on Facebook for all to see - as some would say, "Airing our dirty laundry".
Some say that it's wrong to vent on Facebook, that it's a breach of privacy and immoral.
I am not one of those. As those on my friends list will know, I'm a big fan of venting on Facebook.
I'm conversationally-challenged, but I'm very good at typing my feelings out and posting them.
But I can also see the other side of the fence.
I am adopted, but my adoptive mother HATES people knowing. If I want to have a rant on Facebook about my birth family, or about being adopted, I have the worry that Mum will see my statuses (she's no longer on Facebook thank goodness) and get upset. There's always the chance that someone will get upset with what you post.
But Facebook can be a great venting ground. It's a great place to get your frustrations out and seek some emotional support. I've never really been one to hide how I feel - if I have a problem, or an issue, I'm more than happy to seek support on Facebook.
What do you think? How do you feel about people venting on Facebook?
Saturday 21 January 2012
Grandparents, Grandkids and the Forgotten Generation (the parents)
Today's blog is about the generations – Grandparents, Grandkids and the forgotten generation – the parents.
As some of you know, I'm currently on holiday with my kids, my brother, my parents and their 2 dogs. We're staying at their on-site van and solid annexe. All of us. We came up in the one car, we're staying in the one place, and we're going home again all in the one car (it's a 12 hour drive to get here from home).
My parents are.... how can I put this without sounding bitchy? I think I'll have to explain it.
In my parents' eyes, I'm a terrible parent. I am too harsh on my kids, I expect too much, and I never let them “get away” with anything. I feed them junk, I don't feed them regular meals, and I'm lazy.
So these holidays, Mum has been at me non-stop. I haven't been my usual lazy self- I've cooked many meals, and done many dishes. I haven't shirked my responsibilities with the kids either, I've done pretty much everything that they needed done. My brother has changed one nappy of Master C's (which caused Mum to yell at me for “making him do it” when actually he offered and I said “thanks”).
I don't get up and deal with Master C when he starts to sook – I let him go for awhile first. I don't jump to attention when he sooks, as I usually know what he wants. A lot of the time, it's a case of him being tired and unable to sleep. So I let him sook it out. Not cry, mind you – just sook.
But my mother has been constantly on my case. She accuses me of not jumping to attention because I'm “lazy”, and “That's not how I would do it”. But one thing that she keeps forgetting is that they are MY children, and I will raise them how I see fit.
So what, as parents, do we do? Do we let our parents take over when they're around, and let them set the rules? Or do we stand up for ourselves and our parental rights, and say, “No, they are MY children and I will raise them as I see fit.”?
What should we do? What is the correct thing to do? What is the proper etiquette for these situations?
When we have said no to something, do we let our parents override us, or do we stick by our original decision?
I'm unsure as to what I'm meant to do.
I'm a very stubborn person, and I like to raise my kids my own way. When I've said “No” or “Yes” to my kids for something, I don't like being overridden. It's not always a case of me saying “no” and then saying “yes”. If I give them an ice cream or a chocolate biscuit, I hear “Wow, that's a healthy snack. Why don't you give them some fruit instead?”
Or “Isn't that Miss M's 3rd glass of chocolate milk? Shouldn't she be having plain milk? Or water?”
FFS. They are MY children. I don't know if my parents are the only ones who do this (well, Mum anyway – Dad is quite capable of minding his own business). I'm sure other people's parents do the same thing. Is it just me who thinks it's rude and annoying, and extremely inappropriate?
Haven't they had their turn of parenting? Isn't it time to sit back, enjoy the grandkids and not have to worry about all the “rule enforcing” and nutrition stuff?
What do you think?
Wednesday 11 January 2012
sensible or paranoid: watching your kids around water
Today's blog is all about parental supervision around waer.
We've all seen the ads on TV about how dangerous it is to leave kids alone around water.
But some parents are sill amazingly complacent about it. They figure that older siblings (around 13-14) can
adequately supervise the younger siblings.
I personally believe that this is unfair. How do the parents think that the older sibling will feel if the younger
child drowned while THEY, the older sibling, were supposedly in charge and "on watch"?
Is it fair to put the siblings under that sort of pressure.
Some will scoff, and say "Big deal. It's not a huge ask, and besides - nothing will go wrong. Child A is capable of watching Child B, and Child B is a confident swimmer.
Miss M, age 6, is a confident swimmer. She looks very uncoordinated in the water, but can nonetheless swim quite well.
But I would feel wrong with, when she is 14-15, leaving her with looking after her sibling aged 4 or 5.
I have let Miss M go in the water with a 17 year old by herself, because the 17 year old is training to be a swimming teacher, and is qualified in First Aid Level 2. But to leave a young child with an older sibling.... I don't believe it to be a safe practice.
I am currently on holiday in Batemans Bay, NSW, with my children, my parents, my brother (aged 25) and their 2 little white fluffballs (dogs). Miss M is not allowed in the pool unsupervised. She can go in the pool alone, but I watch her closely. The only time I take my eyes off her is to change the song on the iPod. And even then, it's only for a few seconds at a time. But there are other kids in the pool area - there are 3 kids aged around 12-14. There are 3 kids between 5 and 8. And there is one little girl aged around 4 who is wearing floaties and cannot swim.
They are alone.
They are not being watched. There are no adults in the pool area (besides me watching Miss M, but
they were here for ages before we arrived). They are from the cabin opposite the pool. The gate is on the far side from the
cabin, so it would take a good 30 seconds to get into the pool area from their cabin.... and that's if they noticed the child was in trouble immediately. Very unlikely.
So despite all the warning ads on TV, and all the signs around the pool stating "Children under 12 must be
supervised by an adult at ALL TIMES", they are still not being supervised.
I sent an email to the caravan park office. This is what I said:
"Hi. I'm currently staying in the park. There's a whole bunch of kids - at least 2-3 under 12 and one who can't swim that aren't being supervised at ALL. I'm the only adult watching.
Not sure if you can do anything about it, but I'd hate for one of them to drown and I had not said anything.
Thanks."
I felt better for having said something, because if a child had drowned (even one with feral parents who obviously don't care that their kid could drown) I'd feel awful for not having said anything.
There was an incident earlier today with a young boy (aged about 5-7) who threw bark at Miss M.
She pointed him out to me, and I said to her (loud enough for him to hear), "Well if he throws bark at you again, I'll throw bark at HIM, and i'm a lot bigger than he is."
The joys of parenting. I really do try to be non-judgmental with other people's parenting -but they have to actually PARENT them! Leaving your kids unsupervised in the pool area is just STUPID.
We've all seen the ads on TV about how dangerous it is to leave kids alone around water.
But some parents are sill amazingly complacent about it. They figure that older siblings (around 13-14) can
adequately supervise the younger siblings.
I personally believe that this is unfair. How do the parents think that the older sibling will feel if the younger
child drowned while THEY, the older sibling, were supposedly in charge and "on watch"?
Is it fair to put the siblings under that sort of pressure.
Some will scoff, and say "Big deal. It's not a huge ask, and besides - nothing will go wrong. Child A is capable of watching Child B, and Child B is a confident swimmer.
Miss M, age 6, is a confident swimmer. She looks very uncoordinated in the water, but can nonetheless swim quite well.
But I would feel wrong with, when she is 14-15, leaving her with looking after her sibling aged 4 or 5.
I have let Miss M go in the water with a 17 year old by herself, because the 17 year old is training to be a swimming teacher, and is qualified in First Aid Level 2. But to leave a young child with an older sibling.... I don't believe it to be a safe practice.
I am currently on holiday in Batemans Bay, NSW, with my children, my parents, my brother (aged 25) and their 2 little white fluffballs (dogs). Miss M is not allowed in the pool unsupervised. She can go in the pool alone, but I watch her closely. The only time I take my eyes off her is to change the song on the iPod. And even then, it's only for a few seconds at a time. But there are other kids in the pool area - there are 3 kids aged around 12-14. There are 3 kids between 5 and 8. And there is one little girl aged around 4 who is wearing floaties and cannot swim.
They are alone.
They are not being watched. There are no adults in the pool area (besides me watching Miss M, but
they were here for ages before we arrived). They are from the cabin opposite the pool. The gate is on the far side from the
cabin, so it would take a good 30 seconds to get into the pool area from their cabin.... and that's if they noticed the child was in trouble immediately. Very unlikely.
So despite all the warning ads on TV, and all the signs around the pool stating "Children under 12 must be
supervised by an adult at ALL TIMES", they are still not being supervised.
I sent an email to the caravan park office. This is what I said:
"Hi. I'm currently staying in the park. There's a whole bunch of kids - at least 2-3 under 12 and one who can't swim that aren't being supervised at ALL. I'm the only adult watching.
Not sure if you can do anything about it, but I'd hate for one of them to drown and I had not said anything.
Thanks."
I felt better for having said something, because if a child had drowned (even one with feral parents who obviously don't care that their kid could drown) I'd feel awful for not having said anything.
There was an incident earlier today with a young boy (aged about 5-7) who threw bark at Miss M.
She pointed him out to me, and I said to her (loud enough for him to hear), "Well if he throws bark at you again, I'll throw bark at HIM, and i'm a lot bigger than he is."
The joys of parenting. I really do try to be non-judgmental with other people's parenting -but they have to actually PARENT them! Leaving your kids unsupervised in the pool area is just STUPID.
Sunday 8 January 2012
Parental Concern
At what age do your parents start treating you like an equal adult and not like their chi?
Am I destined to do the same to my kids, or can this cycle be broken?
I love my mother. We argue quite a bit, but I always look forward to going to visit her. Dad treats me like an equal, but Mum constantly treats me like a chIld.
"you're being too harsh on the kids"
"surely she can just have ONE biscuit" (after I've said no non-stop for the past hour!)
"is it such a big deal that she wears that?" (gumboots shorts and no top)
Yes, I could give in. But I've said no, and I'm a big believer in "no is final, and no amount of nagging will change that".
Is it just me, or do everyone's parents do this?
Sorry about the shortness, I'm away for 2 weeks and it takes a lot longer on the iPhone
Am I destined to do the same to my kids, or can this cycle be broken?
I love my mother. We argue quite a bit, but I always look forward to going to visit her. Dad treats me like an equal, but Mum constantly treats me like a chIld.
"you're being too harsh on the kids"
"surely she can just have ONE biscuit" (after I've said no non-stop for the past hour!)
"is it such a big deal that she wears that?" (gumboots shorts and no top)
Yes, I could give in. But I've said no, and I'm a big believer in "no is final, and no amount of nagging will change that".
Is it just me, or do everyone's parents do this?
Sorry about the shortness, I'm away for 2 weeks and it takes a lot longer on the iPhone
Wednesday 4 January 2012
Morals, Beliefs, Common Courtesy - and the In-Laws
So, when you meet Mr or Miss Right, and you settle down together, it's all great. Until reality kicks in, and the rose-coloured glasses come off, and you realise that the two of you have completely different ideas about what's acceptable, and what is common courtesy, and what is just downright rude.
My parents brought me up with pretty basic rules -
* take your hat off inside
* say please and thankyou all the time
* help people whenever you can
* if you're a guest in someone's house, you offer to help clean up after dinner
* when someone enters your home, you spend time with them even if you don't want to
* always ask how other people are, and listen to the answer
When I went to pick up Master C from spending a couple of days at my in-laws' place, I sat around and politely chatted for awhile. When it was time to go, I went in to pack up the portacot, and by the time I'd done it they were already out near the car. So I had to lug the pram, the portacot, the bag of dirty clothes, the suitcase, AND the carseat - all by myself.
Common courtesy, in my family, is helping people out with their things. Especially with so much.
Yes, I could have made a couple of trips. But I would have thought that they'd help. But no. They were busy walking the toddler to the car. Empty-handed.
In my family, that would be considered thoughtless, rude and inconsiderate. But not in their family. In their family, you help yourself first and everyone else comes second.
It's something that I'm not used to. Like my partner's attitude when my parents come to visit. Or when friends come over. He thinks nothing of going to sort the bills, or shred the old ones, or put loads of washing on, or sit on the computer and play - even though people are there to visit. When my mother comes to visit, he doesn't even say hi or look up from the computer. And to me and my mum, that's extremely rude. But to him, that's normal. His parents barely look up from the TV when we arrive to visit. It's normal for them.
So how do you deal with that? Do you relax the rules that you've been brought up with your whole life, or do you expect them to change their lives for you?
I don't know what to do, because I can't be anything other than what I am. I like my strong morals and manners. I don't want to become less than that.
It can cause problems between my partner and I, because I believe he's being rude when he doesn't. So what do I do?
My parents brought me up with pretty basic rules -
* take your hat off inside
* say please and thankyou all the time
* help people whenever you can
* if you're a guest in someone's house, you offer to help clean up after dinner
* when someone enters your home, you spend time with them even if you don't want to
* always ask how other people are, and listen to the answer
When I went to pick up Master C from spending a couple of days at my in-laws' place, I sat around and politely chatted for awhile. When it was time to go, I went in to pack up the portacot, and by the time I'd done it they were already out near the car. So I had to lug the pram, the portacot, the bag of dirty clothes, the suitcase, AND the carseat - all by myself.
Common courtesy, in my family, is helping people out with their things. Especially with so much.
Yes, I could have made a couple of trips. But I would have thought that they'd help. But no. They were busy walking the toddler to the car. Empty-handed.
In my family, that would be considered thoughtless, rude and inconsiderate. But not in their family. In their family, you help yourself first and everyone else comes second.
It's something that I'm not used to. Like my partner's attitude when my parents come to visit. Or when friends come over. He thinks nothing of going to sort the bills, or shred the old ones, or put loads of washing on, or sit on the computer and play - even though people are there to visit. When my mother comes to visit, he doesn't even say hi or look up from the computer. And to me and my mum, that's extremely rude. But to him, that's normal. His parents barely look up from the TV when we arrive to visit. It's normal for them.
So how do you deal with that? Do you relax the rules that you've been brought up with your whole life, or do you expect them to change their lives for you?
I don't know what to do, because I can't be anything other than what I am. I like my strong morals and manners. I don't want to become less than that.
It can cause problems between my partner and I, because I believe he's being rude when he doesn't. So what do I do?
Tuesday 3 January 2012
Irks and Quirks
There's a lot going around in my head today. I'm much more relaxed than usual. Why? Because I went to visit a friend.
KC was my best friend in primary school. We haven't seen each other much since primary school, as she was a couple of grades below me. We got along really well from day 1, and that hasn't changed in the 20-some years since we met.
KC was a lovely young girl. I'm not sure exactly how we met at primary school, being that she was a couple of grades younger. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't really have a lot of friends, let alone friends my own age. Maybe it was the fact that she was accepting of me, however I was.
Her life wasn't easy. She had two VERY protective older sisters, and a younger brother. In primary school, she got around on crutches - these days it's a wheelchair. We got along extremely well, in fact I think we only had one or two arguments in the whole of primary school.
I always got the impression that her mother didn't like me. Yesterday I found out that I was wrong.
She moved to a little country town, and I drove the 3 hours to go visit her yesterday. It was the first time in many many years ( we worked it out to be at least 15 years since we'd last caught up ), and I was amazed at how relaxed I felt. Not only did her mother NOT hate me, she actually invited me to stay for dinner AND to stay the night to save me the long drive home!
It just goes to show how impressions from years ago can stay with you, even though they're not always right. We laughed about times when we'd got into mischief at school, bitched about the horrible aides at school and smiled about the good ones. She when I reminded her that once I'd taken her crutches off her and tried to make her walk! Then we laughed about it.
She has decided to study being a Jehova's Witness. So she and her family are Witnesses now. Her mother always was, but she wasn't. While I don't agree with all the principles of JWs, I respect that people are entitled to have their own beliefs. She is also one of the "new-school" JWs, who will doorknock but show you respect if you tell them to politely rack off. They won't hassle you. So before dinner, there was a short prayer. I felt comfortable sitting there while they prayed. It wasn't a big deal (but as those who read my blog regularly will know, not much is a big deal for me!)
Our friendship is one that has survived the years. People change, and grow up. We grow out of friends.
But it was nice to realise that the important people in your life, the ones who truly love you for who you are, will always be there no matter how many years pass.
KC was my best friend in primary school. We haven't seen each other much since primary school, as she was a couple of grades below me. We got along really well from day 1, and that hasn't changed in the 20-some years since we met.
KC was a lovely young girl. I'm not sure exactly how we met at primary school, being that she was a couple of grades younger. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't really have a lot of friends, let alone friends my own age. Maybe it was the fact that she was accepting of me, however I was.
Her life wasn't easy. She had two VERY protective older sisters, and a younger brother. In primary school, she got around on crutches - these days it's a wheelchair. We got along extremely well, in fact I think we only had one or two arguments in the whole of primary school.
I always got the impression that her mother didn't like me. Yesterday I found out that I was wrong.
She moved to a little country town, and I drove the 3 hours to go visit her yesterday. It was the first time in many many years ( we worked it out to be at least 15 years since we'd last caught up ), and I was amazed at how relaxed I felt. Not only did her mother NOT hate me, she actually invited me to stay for dinner AND to stay the night to save me the long drive home!
It just goes to show how impressions from years ago can stay with you, even though they're not always right. We laughed about times when we'd got into mischief at school, bitched about the horrible aides at school and smiled about the good ones. She when I reminded her that once I'd taken her crutches off her and tried to make her walk! Then we laughed about it.
She has decided to study being a Jehova's Witness. So she and her family are Witnesses now. Her mother always was, but she wasn't. While I don't agree with all the principles of JWs, I respect that people are entitled to have their own beliefs. She is also one of the "new-school" JWs, who will doorknock but show you respect if you tell them to politely rack off. They won't hassle you. So before dinner, there was a short prayer. I felt comfortable sitting there while they prayed. It wasn't a big deal (but as those who read my blog regularly will know, not much is a big deal for me!)
Our friendship is one that has survived the years. People change, and grow up. We grow out of friends.
But it was nice to realise that the important people in your life, the ones who truly love you for who you are, will always be there no matter how many years pass.
Monday 2 January 2012
I Am A Bad Parent
I am apparently, according to some, the definition of a bad parent. I enjoy my time without my kids, and even though I choose to be a stay-at-home-mum, I love to have a break from them.
I love it when Miss M goes to school, and I used to love it when I had Master C in creche for the day. I had him in childcare 2 days a week, to save my sanity and let me get things done.... like go to the psychologist and get treated for my depression.
But on many online blogs, I have seen people condemn those SAHMs who choose to put their child in childcare even though it's their "career" to look after their kids. And this is something that annoys me.
Even top executives get a break from their job. People who absolutely love their job still need a break. I don't believe there is anything wrong with parents putting their children in childcare one or two days a week. It's good socialisation for the kids, and it gives the parents some down-time.
I lose my temper at the kids sometimes, I don't bath them every night, I don't spend all day playing with them, I put Master C in creche because I needed the break from him, I put Miss M in afterschool care because she needed an afterschool activity and I figured that would give her some variety in activities, and I enjoy time away from my kids.
My toddler is spending a few days at my in-laws' place and gets back tomorrow morning, my 6 year old is about to go to my mum's until Friday. And I don't feel at ALL bad about it, because I know that I am a much happier mum when I've had a break from my kids.
I know people who go to work while their kids are young, and have a complex about being a "bad parent" because they're away from their kids so much. I want to shake those people, and say "Are you kidding?" Because I know how much they adore their children, and their kids are very much loved. As long as you don't over-indulge your children and give them everything they want when you are home with them, there's no harm done. Kids cope quite well with us being at work.
I've been a working mum, who worked full-time. I've been a SAHM (Stay At Home Mum) for quite awhile now. And I have to say that I know I'd rather be at home. But there will come a time when I need to go back to work for financial reasons. And when that time comes, I'll be okay with it.
But for now, I'll stay home and enjoy my kids being young. With the occasional break from them to save my sanity.
I love it when Miss M goes to school, and I used to love it when I had Master C in creche for the day. I had him in childcare 2 days a week, to save my sanity and let me get things done.... like go to the psychologist and get treated for my depression.
But on many online blogs, I have seen people condemn those SAHMs who choose to put their child in childcare even though it's their "career" to look after their kids. And this is something that annoys me.
Even top executives get a break from their job. People who absolutely love their job still need a break. I don't believe there is anything wrong with parents putting their children in childcare one or two days a week. It's good socialisation for the kids, and it gives the parents some down-time.
I lose my temper at the kids sometimes, I don't bath them every night, I don't spend all day playing with them, I put Master C in creche because I needed the break from him, I put Miss M in afterschool care because she needed an afterschool activity and I figured that would give her some variety in activities, and I enjoy time away from my kids.
My toddler is spending a few days at my in-laws' place and gets back tomorrow morning, my 6 year old is about to go to my mum's until Friday. And I don't feel at ALL bad about it, because I know that I am a much happier mum when I've had a break from my kids.
I know people who go to work while their kids are young, and have a complex about being a "bad parent" because they're away from their kids so much. I want to shake those people, and say "Are you kidding?" Because I know how much they adore their children, and their kids are very much loved. As long as you don't over-indulge your children and give them everything they want when you are home with them, there's no harm done. Kids cope quite well with us being at work.
I've been a working mum, who worked full-time. I've been a SAHM (Stay At Home Mum) for quite awhile now. And I have to say that I know I'd rather be at home. But there will come a time when I need to go back to work for financial reasons. And when that time comes, I'll be okay with it.
But for now, I'll stay home and enjoy my kids being young. With the occasional break from them to save my sanity.
READERS' REQUEST - Depression
There is a lot that I could write about depression. It's a topic that I know quite a bit about personally, because I suffer from depression. Depression is a very complicated ilness, so I will try and give a bit of information from my experiences.
Depression can affect people in very different ways. For some, they are incredibly moody, and they don't enjoy life any more. For other people, it can be a rollercoaster ride - up and down- life is great, then life is awful. It's like a pendulum that never stops swinging. The moods can make you suicidal. One popular relief for people with depression is self-harm. I have been down this road, and have the scars to prove it. It is NOT an attention-seeking activity like some people believe. It's a way to help deal with the emotional pain in a more real way. It's a topic that no one wants to talk about, and no one wants to deal with. People believe that you should keep things like this to yourself because it's embarassing, but I honestly believe that if these topics are talked about it may help come up with a way to stop it.
However, there are other symptoms of depression that aren't spoken about as often.
Inability to sleep is one. Sleeping too MUCH can also be a symptom though. For example, when I first got depression, I couldn't sleep. I was moody, and cranky, and upset all the time. I was mentally and emotionally unstable. For years my depression went undiagnosed. The school psychologist put it down to normal teenage angst. My parents thought I was just being immature and attention-seeking.
When I had Master C 17 months ago, there were massive complications and I nearly bled to death. One of the side effects of nearly dying was memory loss. The stress of my time in hospital gave me a HUGE relapse of my depression. I had almost no memories of the first 12 months of my baby's year.
I went to see a psychologist for awhile. She believed that my memory loss wasn't permanent, and that if I learned ways to de-stress that I could even get some of the memories back. Due to my depression at THIS time, I slept like the dead. I was put onto anti-depression medication - Zoloft. It made me extremely drowsy, but once it settled into my system I was a lot better. I wasn't so depressed all the time.
Another side-step of depression is anger. I'm not talking about getting annoyed. I'm talking about "THE KIDS ARE DRIVING ME INSANE, even little things are setting me off, and I just want the whole world to FUCK OFF" sort of anger. I snapped at the tiniest little inconvenience, like being interrupted when I was watching a movie, or when I feel like Mum's treating me like a child instead of the adult that I am.
The anger can be scary, especially for the person with depression. It comes out of nowhere, and sometimes straight after you do it you want to take it back. But by that time, the person you've yelled at or screamed at does NOT want to hear your apology.
There are a few things that family and friends can do to help people with depression.
For starters, accept the fact that they have depression.
Accept the fact that most depressed people once they're on medication are CONVINCED that they don't need the medication, that they'll be fine without it. If they make this decision, love and support them. Point out to them gently when you believe that they're slipping back into depression. Don't yell at them when they frustrate you - understand that they have an illness. That ilness can be treated, but one of the problems with depression is that you are CONVINCED that you don't need help to deal with it.
Depression can be a scary thing. We need to feel loved and accepted irrespective of the fact that we really don't feel like we deserve it sometimes. A lot of people (I would say almost all people) with depression feel worthless, or that they don't deserve nice things and good people. So we seek out people who accept us for who we are, and that's not always a wise choice. Sometimes we get people in our lives who just make the depression tenfold worse. They pick us up and make us feel great, but we become reliant on them to cheer us up. We have to feel happy within ourselves, and that's something we find hard to do.
It's not always the parents' fault. Parents cop a lot of blame for kids making stupid mistakes and falling into depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is no one's fault. However, the depressed person must take a certain accountability for their depression - it needs to be treated properly, and us depressed people really need to learn that meds are GREAT and that we need help. We seem to have a hell of a lot of trouble accepting that we need help. We're stubborn people!
So hopefully I've given you all a bit of insight into depression. And hopefully I've given you some tools on how to deal with it, and how to help people you love who have depression.
As always, drop me a line jenna_cooksley@yahoo.com.au or post on the blog (you'll need a gmail account).
If you email me, we can talk privately or I can post your comments onto the blog for you.
Depression can affect people in very different ways. For some, they are incredibly moody, and they don't enjoy life any more. For other people, it can be a rollercoaster ride - up and down- life is great, then life is awful. It's like a pendulum that never stops swinging. The moods can make you suicidal. One popular relief for people with depression is self-harm. I have been down this road, and have the scars to prove it. It is NOT an attention-seeking activity like some people believe. It's a way to help deal with the emotional pain in a more real way. It's a topic that no one wants to talk about, and no one wants to deal with. People believe that you should keep things like this to yourself because it's embarassing, but I honestly believe that if these topics are talked about it may help come up with a way to stop it.
However, there are other symptoms of depression that aren't spoken about as often.
Inability to sleep is one. Sleeping too MUCH can also be a symptom though. For example, when I first got depression, I couldn't sleep. I was moody, and cranky, and upset all the time. I was mentally and emotionally unstable. For years my depression went undiagnosed. The school psychologist put it down to normal teenage angst. My parents thought I was just being immature and attention-seeking.
When I had Master C 17 months ago, there were massive complications and I nearly bled to death. One of the side effects of nearly dying was memory loss. The stress of my time in hospital gave me a HUGE relapse of my depression. I had almost no memories of the first 12 months of my baby's year.
I went to see a psychologist for awhile. She believed that my memory loss wasn't permanent, and that if I learned ways to de-stress that I could even get some of the memories back. Due to my depression at THIS time, I slept like the dead. I was put onto anti-depression medication - Zoloft. It made me extremely drowsy, but once it settled into my system I was a lot better. I wasn't so depressed all the time.
Another side-step of depression is anger. I'm not talking about getting annoyed. I'm talking about "THE KIDS ARE DRIVING ME INSANE, even little things are setting me off, and I just want the whole world to FUCK OFF" sort of anger. I snapped at the tiniest little inconvenience, like being interrupted when I was watching a movie, or when I feel like Mum's treating me like a child instead of the adult that I am.
The anger can be scary, especially for the person with depression. It comes out of nowhere, and sometimes straight after you do it you want to take it back. But by that time, the person you've yelled at or screamed at does NOT want to hear your apology.
There are a few things that family and friends can do to help people with depression.
For starters, accept the fact that they have depression.
Accept the fact that most depressed people once they're on medication are CONVINCED that they don't need the medication, that they'll be fine without it. If they make this decision, love and support them. Point out to them gently when you believe that they're slipping back into depression. Don't yell at them when they frustrate you - understand that they have an illness. That ilness can be treated, but one of the problems with depression is that you are CONVINCED that you don't need help to deal with it.
Depression can be a scary thing. We need to feel loved and accepted irrespective of the fact that we really don't feel like we deserve it sometimes. A lot of people (I would say almost all people) with depression feel worthless, or that they don't deserve nice things and good people. So we seek out people who accept us for who we are, and that's not always a wise choice. Sometimes we get people in our lives who just make the depression tenfold worse. They pick us up and make us feel great, but we become reliant on them to cheer us up. We have to feel happy within ourselves, and that's something we find hard to do.
It's not always the parents' fault. Parents cop a lot of blame for kids making stupid mistakes and falling into depression. Depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. It is no one's fault. However, the depressed person must take a certain accountability for their depression - it needs to be treated properly, and us depressed people really need to learn that meds are GREAT and that we need help. We seem to have a hell of a lot of trouble accepting that we need help. We're stubborn people!
So hopefully I've given you all a bit of insight into depression. And hopefully I've given you some tools on how to deal with it, and how to help people you love who have depression.
As always, drop me a line jenna_cooksley@yahoo.com.au or post on the blog (you'll need a gmail account).
If you email me, we can talk privately or I can post your comments onto the blog for you.
Sunday 1 January 2012
Depression and emotions.... and the New Year
Zoloft is a wonderful drug - I ceased to function on a human level. I had no emotions whatsoever. It took away all the hurt and pain from life. I felt like I had control over my life again.
But it was all an illusion.
3 weeks after stopping my meds, I am feeling weirded-out. I have feelings again - my libido is back. I'm enjoying the company of people again, instead of wanting to hide away from it. However, I'm emotional - and possibly too much. Zoloft has a lot of side effects, such as lack of libido (in mens' case, lack of erection - in females' case, lack of wanting sex). In my case, it also gave me weird cramps in my body, which meant that I was in a bit of pain most of the time. It also meant that I slept like the dead.
I've never been one to cry at movies. In fact, it's safe to say I'm pretty emotionally lacking. Things that make other people sad just don't seem to affect me. Like, I don't get why people cry at funerals - yes, you'll miss the person, but death is a part of life. Or why people can be so anti-gay... I mean, I don't get what the big deal is. They're no less human, they're not a different species. They just have sex with the same sex. So what.
But I'm watching Armageddon (for the hundredth time), but not sure why I'm suddenly getting teary when the crew leaves Earth and says goodbye to their loved ones. Could the lack of medication be turning me into a human who actually reacts to human-stuff, or am I mentally unbalanced?
I suppose that getting upset is a standard reaction to something like that, but it doesn't usually happen to me. It's a strange feeling.
I'm feeling pretty restless at the moment. The heat is stifling, it's 40*C here today. I feel like I should be out doing something today with Madd, but I'm really not wanting to. I'm quite happy to be at home today.
I have let go of a few things already this year. It's only Day 2 of 2012, and I have achieved closure on some things.
My friend P, who I really miss, is no more. I have had a DVD of P's for MONTHS, and yesterday I finally dropped it in P's letterbox. I will not speak of P or to P again. My life is less complicated without P, and I hope that I'm finally able to let P go.
My friend A, who has stuffed me around for YEARS, is no more. I refuse to believe the crappy half-arsed excuses any more, and I've finally decided to get A out of my life for good. No more forgiveness for A.
So this year I will make some changes. I will cope without my medication, I will keep my life on track, and I will appreciate the wonderful family I have - my partner, my daughter, and my son. And hopefully we will have a little Peanut growing by the end of this year.It would be nice to have 3 kids :)
So enough of my rambling - that's pretty much all I've done with this post. I've vented my spleen a little, and have managed to make myself feel a little better.
Thanks for listening, and if anyone has a Google or Gmail account, please post a comment.
If not, sign up slackers! I would love to get some comments.
But it was all an illusion.
3 weeks after stopping my meds, I am feeling weirded-out. I have feelings again - my libido is back. I'm enjoying the company of people again, instead of wanting to hide away from it. However, I'm emotional - and possibly too much. Zoloft has a lot of side effects, such as lack of libido (in mens' case, lack of erection - in females' case, lack of wanting sex). In my case, it also gave me weird cramps in my body, which meant that I was in a bit of pain most of the time. It also meant that I slept like the dead.
I've never been one to cry at movies. In fact, it's safe to say I'm pretty emotionally lacking. Things that make other people sad just don't seem to affect me. Like, I don't get why people cry at funerals - yes, you'll miss the person, but death is a part of life. Or why people can be so anti-gay... I mean, I don't get what the big deal is. They're no less human, they're not a different species. They just have sex with the same sex. So what.
But I'm watching Armageddon (for the hundredth time), but not sure why I'm suddenly getting teary when the crew leaves Earth and says goodbye to their loved ones. Could the lack of medication be turning me into a human who actually reacts to human-stuff, or am I mentally unbalanced?
I suppose that getting upset is a standard reaction to something like that, but it doesn't usually happen to me. It's a strange feeling.
I'm feeling pretty restless at the moment. The heat is stifling, it's 40*C here today. I feel like I should be out doing something today with Madd, but I'm really not wanting to. I'm quite happy to be at home today.
I have let go of a few things already this year. It's only Day 2 of 2012, and I have achieved closure on some things.
My friend P, who I really miss, is no more. I have had a DVD of P's for MONTHS, and yesterday I finally dropped it in P's letterbox. I will not speak of P or to P again. My life is less complicated without P, and I hope that I'm finally able to let P go.
My friend A, who has stuffed me around for YEARS, is no more. I refuse to believe the crappy half-arsed excuses any more, and I've finally decided to get A out of my life for good. No more forgiveness for A.
So this year I will make some changes. I will cope without my medication, I will keep my life on track, and I will appreciate the wonderful family I have - my partner, my daughter, and my son. And hopefully we will have a little Peanut growing by the end of this year.It would be nice to have 3 kids :)
So enough of my rambling - that's pretty much all I've done with this post. I've vented my spleen a little, and have managed to make myself feel a little better.
Thanks for listening, and if anyone has a Google or Gmail account, please post a comment.
If not, sign up slackers! I would love to get some comments.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)