Morals, Beliefs, Common Courtesy - and the In-Laws

     So, when you meet Mr or Miss Right, and you settle down together, it's all great. Until reality kicks in, and the rose-coloured glasses come off, and you realise that the two of you have completely different ideas about what's acceptable, and what is common courtesy, and what is just downright rude.
     My parents brought me up with pretty basic rules -
*  take your hat off inside
*  say please and thankyou all the time
*  help people whenever you can
*  if you're a guest in someone's house, you offer to help clean up after dinner
*  when someone enters your home, you spend time with them even if you don't want to
*  always ask how other people are, and listen to the answer


     When I went to pick up Master C from spending a couple of days at my in-laws' place, I sat around and politely chatted for awhile. When it was time to go, I went in to pack up the portacot, and by the time I'd done it they were already out near the car. So I had to lug the pram, the portacot, the bag of dirty clothes, the suitcase, AND the carseat - all by myself.
     Common courtesy, in my family, is helping people out with their things. Especially with so much.
Yes, I could have made a couple of trips. But I would have thought that they'd help. But no. They were busy walking the toddler to the car. Empty-handed.
     In my family, that would be considered thoughtless, rude and inconsiderate. But not in their family. In their family, you help yourself first and everyone else comes second.

    It's something that I'm not used to. Like my partner's attitude when my parents come to visit. Or when friends come over. He thinks nothing of going to sort the bills, or shred the old ones, or put loads of washing on, or sit on the computer and play - even though people are there to visit. When my mother comes to visit, he doesn't even say hi or look up from the computer. And to me and my mum, that's extremely rude. But to him, that's normal. His parents barely look up from the TV when we arrive to visit. It's normal for them.

    So how do you deal with that? Do you relax the rules that you've been brought up with your whole life, or do you expect them to change their lives for you?
I don't know what to do, because I can't be anything other than what I am. I like my strong morals and manners. I don't want to become less than that.

It can cause problems between my partner and I, because I believe he's being rude when he doesn't. So what do I do?