Grandparents, Grandkids and the Forgotten Generation (the parents)

Today's blog is about the generations – Grandparents, Grandkids and the forgotten generation – the parents.

As some of you know, I'm currently on holiday with my kids, my brother, my parents and their 2 dogs. We're staying at their on-site van and solid annexe. All of us. We came up in the one car, we're staying in the one place, and we're going home again all in the one car (it's a 12 hour drive to get here from home).

My parents are.... how can I put this without sounding bitchy? I think I'll have to explain it.

In my parents' eyes, I'm a terrible parent. I am too harsh on my kids, I expect too much, and I never let them “get away” with anything. I feed them junk, I don't feed them regular meals, and I'm lazy.

So these holidays, Mum has been at me non-stop. I haven't been my usual lazy self- I've cooked many meals, and done many dishes. I haven't shirked my responsibilities with the kids either, I've done pretty much everything that they needed done. My brother has changed one nappy of Master C's (which caused Mum to yell at me for “making him do it” when actually he offered and I said “thanks”).

I don't get up and deal with Master C when he starts to sook – I let him go for awhile first. I don't jump to attention when he sooks, as I usually know what he wants. A lot of the time, it's a case of him being tired and unable to sleep. So I let him sook it out. Not cry, mind you – just sook.

But my mother has been constantly on my case. She accuses me of not jumping to attention because I'm “lazy”, and “That's not how I would do it”. But one thing that she keeps forgetting is that they are MY children, and I will raise them how I see fit.

So what, as parents, do we do? Do we let our parents take over when they're around, and let them set the rules? Or do we stand up for ourselves and our parental rights, and say, “No, they are MY children and I will raise them as I see fit.”?

What should we do? What is the correct thing to do? What is the proper etiquette for these situations?

When we have said no to something, do we let our parents override us, or do we stick by our original decision?

I'm unsure as to what I'm meant to do.

I'm a very stubborn person, and I like to raise my kids my own way. When I've said “No” or “Yes” to my kids for something, I don't like being overridden. It's not always a case of me saying “no” and then saying “yes”. If I give them an ice cream or a chocolate biscuit, I hear “Wow, that's a healthy snack. Why don't you give them some fruit instead?”

Or “Isn't that Miss M's 3^rd glass of chocolate milk? Shouldn't she be having plain milk? Or water?”

FFS. They are MY children. I don't know if my parents are the only ones who do this (well, Mum anyway – Dad is quite capable of minding his own business). I'm sure other people's parents do the same thing. Is it just me who thinks it's rude and annoying, and extremely inappropriate?

Haven't they had their turn of parenting? Isn't it time to sit back, enjoy the grandkids and not have to worry about all the “rule enforcing” and nutrition stuff?

What do you think?